changing the bank

fed up with begging letters
and the service less than frank
I'll do what the government says
and try to switch my bank
you can do it very easy
the task is a delight
said the comments from the eejits
on the comparison web site
bogged down in a jiffy
everything stuck on hold
I tried to enter something
before the prompt I was told

dissolution and dejected
to give up I was prone
till I saw that you could do it
in comfort on the phone
pressing one and pressing two
not forgetting hash
listening to some musak
repetitive droning trash
then I got a human
but was speechless with a cough
she said hello twice quickly
and then she cut me off

dejected and frustrated
I went out for a walk
and entered the local bank
to a human I could talk
a person came up to me
with a cheerie how do you do
said see all those people there
that’s the bloody queue
I joined the queue and waited
for cashier one or two
at last at the iron grill
the cashier lowered a sign
this cashier is closing
please join the other line

at last I saw a human
not a helpful chap
sat in a stuffy sub office
with papers on his lap
I said I'd like to change my bank
I thought I saw him grin
I said I have some savings
I'm willing to put in
He asked me if I want a loan
to buy something rash
they don't need more money
as the government gives them cash
I must surely need a new car
and estate or new sedan
or some more insurance
or the latest funeral plan
I said that I had changed my mind
trying to be polite
I'll stick my money under the mattress
and sleep soundly every night .
.