farmers holiday

Farmers don't have holidays

I think most people knew

After 30 years without one

farmer George thought he was due

where to go he wondered

throwing darts at a map

But trying to get to Timbuktu

would stress an enterprising chap

Timbuktu Has had a drought

for twenty years or more

so with imminent global warming

those folk should know the score

George found a cheap flight

the terms seemed quite severe

it wouldn't allow cows on board

nor sheep, goats, or deer

as for his trusty sheep dog

they seemed a tad unkind

the only way that he could fly

was if George went blind

packed up his clothes in a feed bag

of fifty shades of green

hanging outside he hung wellies

never have they been so clean

stopped at check in security

for committing a crime

in the deep recess of is pockets

his knife and some baler twine

luggage search to destruction

secreted and hidden away

fencing pliers, staples and split pins

foot shears and purple spray

fourteen days of interrogation

hoping that he will tell

the members and the accomplices

of his murderous terrorist cell

released to care in the community

to his croft in mud and more rain

to rip up his holiday brochures

he won't try a holiday again