Friday, 31 July 2020

fishes tears



Clarkwood, Acacia wood, and Tarradale
and their hard working crew
an area searched in a bitter gale
but lost without a clue

no flotsam on the rolling sea
no debris or slick of oil
no route or course to foresee
to assist the searchers toil

all the sea is just fishes tears
the land is barren grief
fish must be caught for hungry heirs
too proud for poor relief

just one more time to cast the net
catch all before the storm
one last time to easy the debt
that a good haul can transform

on the land the grieving stand
under a promenade canopy
there are no wooden casks to touch
just flowers thrown on the sea

Mr Twitter



Mr. Twitter lord of the right
with intelligence he will fight
sending insults though the night
it's a freedom of speech to incite
but only if you're blond and white

refugee



amidst the rubble that once was home
sobbing they cry and cry
with broken lives they set off to roam
under the bombers sky 

they duck at every passing plane
in ditches often lie
walking onward feet blistered pain
security gone awry

there is a rumour there is a camp
where food is had for free
and so with many others tramp
to beg on bended knee

children hungry that can not move
all energy is spent
but refugees they still have to prove
they are of good intent

where is the help where is the food
where is security
now rich lands are not in the mood
to show humanity

looking at pages



USA border patrol
are checking facebook pages
to see if you are political
or have rants and rages

are you so unwelcoming
in the home of democracy
to infringe our basic human rights
is political hypocrisy

John

The sweat breaks out upon John’s brow

To cool arms back and face

Saline rivulets freely flow

In crevices and folds do trace


John moves with a rhythmic bound

The scythe cuts deep and low

The stalks cut lay upon the ground

In a river pattern flow


The hard and manual work embarked

Liberate the mind to wonder

Of ancient thinkers beliefs talked

Of times way back in yonder



Of Common-sense the Rights of Man

Of Paine, Mill, and Biko

Lilburn, Marx, Chateaubriand

Machiavelli Hobbs and Cicero


He takes his break upon the mound

To watch nature and to wonder

The ants and insects roam the ground

The bees and flies that hover


In Hill top cottage on the moor

His hearts desire doth dwell

Janet is her name and sure

Her beauty he can tell


In hill top cottage on the moor

The petals decayed and fallen

Lay where they scatter on the floor

The stalks and water rotten



Robert left three weeks ago

To seek fortune in the town

With towns Girls she worries though

The thoughts do get her down


He left gifts of written prose and

Wild posy watered by rain

She tended flowers by her hand

Poetry read and read again


In field and back to work John rose

As She watches from window bay

A hope of marriage he will propose

Will she marry John - no way!

Wednesday, 29 July 2020

another war

They said that he was clever
and he would sort it out
coming from a business school
and he's so devout
thinks that God has sent him
and a mission he will lead
so he'll squeeze the bankers
until the rocks will bleed
likes to keep a floosie
shows he's full of charm
and does all his best deals
by twisting of your arm
there might be a depression
but we've been there before
the only way to make it great
is start another war
another war

the divorce was not his fault
although he's had two
the new wife is so shaky
but for now will have to do
but she's not in the white house
that's for just his mates
that concrete over national parks
to build more estates
he likes to dress so colourful
always seen in black
he doesn't like those people
from Iran or Iraq
so he will close off the borders
and not let in any more
but says the best security
is start another war
another war

wee beastie Trumpie

From the western isles
in a leafy glen
came the haggis looking beast
the pride of businessmen

orange colour of the body
with a shock of hair
the wee beastie Trumpie
is so difficult to snare

it talks in mindless riddles
and often known to shout
gesturing mobile fingers
and lips in constant pout

his irrational religious bigotry
so often will extol
a viscous little bugger
and so hard to control

good old customer service


we are committed to good service
committed to improve
committed to our customer base
in case they switch and move

we listen to your just concerns
our service is customer committed
we listen to your tales of woe
you downtrodden and pitied

we sigh and nod so vigorously
and thank you for your call
you think we will do something
but we'll do bugger all

be my valentine

will you be my Valentine
and make my heart go thump
and I will love you far more
the Mexico loves Trump

I love you more than Putin
loves the judo mat
much more than any dieter
loves products of low fat

I love you more than Donald Trump
loves eternal youth
and far more than his Press team
love alternative truth

I love you more than the Tory's
love to cut and privatize
and far more than Ken Loach's films
lambaste and criticize

buying Britain

Kraft Heinz wants to expand
and gobble up the opposition
not for commercial reasons
but US tax imposition
it is cheaper to buy a company
than to pay your tax
so with Unilever in their sights
they are beginning their attacks

does it matter who owns a company?
does it matter who is the boss?
most low paid workers
really can't give a toss
but still they have employment
holiday and sick pay
American companies don't like unions
and sweep workers rights away

Kraft last bought out Cadbury
and promised little change
but they closed down factories
and ingredients changed
the creme egg is too sticky sweet
the chocolate lost its bite
it wasn't a gradual process
it happened over night

come on British Government
show us that you care
safeguard against monopolies
owned by over there
stick up for British companies
let British business rule
don't sacrifice good British jobs
as a Trump charm bargaining tool

July the new Christmas

Had my first Christmas wish

sadly in July

from an on line company

hoping I might buy


hoping I will beat the rush

order in advance

forgot he emailed a bloke

so there's no fecking chance


I like to do things at a time

that's suitable I believe

like so many other men

I shop on Christmas eve


I emailed them and asked them

was their promotion a bit soon

not at all they replied

we held back till after June

Tuesday, 28 July 2020

Santa went to Starbucks

Santa went to Starbucks

for coffee black not white

he needs the extra caffeine

to get him through the night

in a Wi-Fi hotspot

he googled the next address

with his sack full of presents

hoping to impress

all presents bought on Amazon

the elves have all been sacked

it's only in Lapland

these companies are taxed

talking to god

I can't talk to you right now
I've god on the phone
for all those pesky prayers at night
he won't leave me alone
he keeps telling me to behave
be contrite less funny
and all I ever asked of him
was health and loads of money
he told me that I should believe
a spiritual life perform
yet if he really knows me well
he knows I can't conform



loyalty

why can't I find a company
that has no joining deal?
that wants loyal returning customers
appreciated they make you feel
I don't want to fund some switchers
or some bosses bonus spree
that cast you off at contract end
as non-commercial debris
My money is all hard earned
and though not known as rash
I'll pay for loyalty from a company
it's more valuable than cash

dark and stormy night

the night was dark and stormy
the moon it did not show
first there was the sleet
then there was the snow
I pulled my collar up
and my head bent low

my foot began to slide
along the frozen ground
I put my hand out for balance
and a wall I found
as I lent against the wall
I could not hear a sound

the wall was high above my head
made of solid stone
in that space of shelter
I was all alone
the air it had an icy feel
chilling to the bone

as I walked on the wall led right
so icy to the skin
behind me the wall led left
as if I was hemmed with in
the the wall seemed to narrow
with a rumbling din

stones fell out and hands shot out
trying to grab me
as I scuttled to the corner
for some sanctuary
against the waving arms and hands
of some hideous monstrosity

I yelled in fear I heard a noise
of rumbling stones and screams
the wind had stopped the snow was gone
as it was a dream
as I ran back to the hotel
wondering what it could mean

back at the hotel
a map was on display
my fingers traced the path I took
following my way
there was a symbol for a ruin
not visible today

do you know these ruins
I asked so politely
the landlord said it was nothing
less than helpfully
but a drunk fearfully mumbled
twas the monastery

twas religious persecution
that did for monks inside
as they begged for a pardon
so ruthlessly denied
the walls were all caved in
with all the monks inside

I said I felt the fear of monks
but they thought that I had lied

wondered lonely as a cloud

I wondered lonely as a cloud
being a grumpy so and so
and there I saw some bonny flowers
in the field below
in the field sat Wordsworth
looking glum and mellow
I said why don't you write a ditty
about those flowers white and yellow
and so he wrote his poem
it didn't take much time
he called the poem daffodils
because narcissus doesn't rhyme

on the beat

a poor lowly constable
a community assistant
walking the streets alone
where crime was persistent

then he saw a large flash car
stop on yellow lines
at least would warrant a caution
or on the spot a fine

two men got out the car
on principals he wont budge
one was the chief constable
the other a high court judge

pondering his actions
the best course he can take
when the judge shook his hand
and gave a masons shake

he could fine the chief constable
the council being short of cash
but shopping a fellow mason
was a action far too rash

pay you back


you bring them from the hospital
a bundle for you to care
stale milk and dirty nappy smells
pervade the air
a new genetic jigsaw
that many genes you share
but they will pay you back when they're full grown

at school they get bullied
it's something you must sort
school uniforms are expensive
for security they are bought
you think morality and dignity
with education is taught
but they will pay you back when they're full grown

they struggle to be teenagers
a time of many tears
you comfort them and encourage them
dispelling all their fears
thankful they missed drugs and smokes
through the testing years
but they will pay you back when they're full grown

they leave home to get a job
mortgage and security
but they need a deposit
and some extra equity
the marriage cost a fortune
paying all drinks for free
but they will pay you back when they're full grown

the breakup was traumatic
and they need security
you look after the grandchildren
child minding for free
they move back into your home
but it's just temporary
but they will pay you back when they're full grown

all grandchildren are fully fledged
you're not needed any more
when grandchildren are not a topic
you're considered a bore
the forgetfulness is getting worse
you're becoming such a chore
but they will pay you back when they're full grown

your house is now collateral
so they can get a loan
your bones are getting fragile
and accidents are prone
so they put you in a dingy cell
called a retirement home
but they call this pay you back now they're full grown

Monday, 27 July 2020

vacuum cleaner



little vacuum clearer
please do not despair
let me take you to a house
with three dogs and one cat spare
more demanding than a students flat
cleaning so unaware
can you survive the constant use
are you up for a dare
or are you like the other ones
that are allergic to the hair
but if you can't stand the hair
and go tits up on me
blowing up in clouds of smoke
do it within the guarantee

welcome to city streets

Welcome to the city streets
on the coldest day of year
walk between the drug crazed kids
that live in constant fear
the litter strewn shop door
where night comfort's at
shunned by human being
and comforted by rats

picking over discarded food
McDonald serves with pride
beggars look through the window
but can never get inside
the coke cans and fanta
best to give a miss
after clubs kick out at the weekend
more likely full of piss

the police with the truncheon
move the beggars on
no point in moving quickly
they have no place to run
so spit and shout abuses
cursing them to hell
with luck and determination
they find a nice warm cell

the missions and the preacher
good soul come looking for
preaching their salvation
in the good and evil war
as they take the street donation
offer food at salvation price
compassion lights up the face
but the heart is cold as ice

Friday, 24 July 2020

queue

When you reach a certain age

you do as old folk do

while away the happy hours

in a bloody queue


you say you are busy

and are time bereft

I know all about tine

as I've little of it left



you say you are so busy

and time restraints so dire

you don't know what busy is

until the day that you retire



now deemed fit and healthy

you can now give a hand

to older folk that can not cope

drive,walk, or stand



when I was young I did stupid things

as stupid as can be

but never did such a stupid thing

as jump the queue on me

Thursday, 23 July 2020

A clown


a clown got in to government

because he got your vote

quoting from a joke book

some comedian wrote




falls out with Europe

sucks up to the yanks

takes funds from China

but doesn't say thanks




has a slush fund full of Rubles

tows the American line

wants sanctions against China

now world trade is in decline

Wednesday, 22 July 2020

god bless America

God bless America

pass me the tambourine

I love hormone laced beef

and chicken in chlorine




good bye the European dream

we are taking back control

thanks to fake news on the internet

and a dodgy poll




our trade will be American

American controlled

we will live in perfect bliss

if we do what we're told

Thursday, 16 July 2020

tactless men


some women think men tactless
or just lying swine
but our bodies are so different
from a woman's so divine

the wiring for nerve endings
and receptors causing pain
are centered in the lower parts
but then we don't complain

So if we tell a lie the
testicles respond
sending messages to the brain
for which we're not too fond

when we are tactless
our buttocks cramp and knot
another feeling I must say
we do not like a lot

so have pity when you buy a dress
or do something to your hair
and don't complain if we are speechless
with a startled stare
sadly the pain of action
you are not aware

sprouts

There is a car that's parked
from the sprout ministry
checking you haven't caused
Brussels sprout cruelty
some folks that we know
eats spouts still alive
they simmer for an hour
not pressure cook for five
sprouts are a bit like lobsters
although they don't turn pink
you should cook them until the house
has that rotten cabbage stink 

the past is the past

she said it was over
it was a shock for me
that all the loving feeling
was a distant memory
and she took up with a bloke
that was how I use to be

Marriage had conventions
tolerance was the norm
many things you may not like
but willingly conform
from a caterpillar of a bachelor
a married butterfly transform

standing in the checkout queue
I saw her standing there
I noticed all the extra flesh
and the colour of her hair
but she didn't notice me
and walked by unaware
now the past is in the past
and I no longer care

Christmas from the food bank



Christmas from the food bank
an instant festive plan
there are potatoes veg and turkey
if I can get inside the can

I hope it tastes delicious
even when not hot
the bailiff took the cooker
and everything I'd got

my home is still my castle
although it looks a mess
but you can't get universal credit
without a home address

so please send me a Christmas card
of festive joy that I desire
just think of the warmth you give
when I use them for the fire

Druid Brae



The shepherd in his croft

beneath Druid Brae

eating his mutton

his livelihood and pay

the same meal he ate

every single day



standing on Druid Brae

his eyes looking down

his saw a funeral procession

walking through the town

walking solemn and slowly

to the burial ground





he recognised a pole bearer

the bearer looked at his face

a troubled look came over it

he lost his step and pace

it made the coffin wobble

a ceremonial disgrace




at the wake the bearers talked

and wanted the reason why

he stumbled beneath Druid Brae

or somewhere thereby

but no one saw the shepherd

or his evil eye




the will was read to his surprise

the shepherd left the croft

to the unstable pole bearer

that failed to hold him aloft

the pole bearer would be a shepherd

how the farmers laughed and scoffed




The shepherd in his croft

beneath Druid Brae

eating his mutton

his livelihood and pay

the same meal he ate

every single day



standing on Druid Brae

his eyes looking down

his saw a funeral procession

walking through the town

walking solemn and slowly

to the burial ground

Tuesday, 14 July 2020

Does it make you feel great



The elderly in our care homes

are brutally abused

by people the government forced to work

that feel they're being used

does it make you feel great?





the crops are rotting in the field

for want of pickers from abroad

and those with stacks of money

toilet rolls and can food hoard

does it make you feel great?





migrants want to leave the shore

there's an atmosphere of fear

scientist that we greatly need

are reluctant coming here

does it make you feel great?





there are swastikas in the grave yards

anti-Semitic filth on walls

racists march down markets streets

and occupy town halls

does it make you feel great?





Americanophiles are our government

our policy to please

the warmonger president

with our trade to squeeze

does it make you feel great?





the young think they are immune

play covid 19 roulette

demanding an open economy

while forcing up the debt

does it make you feel great yet?

Friday, 10 July 2020

I blame nanny


I blame nanny it's all her fault
and here is the reason why
she pampered to their selfish whims
and never let them cry
they never brought the coal in
they never swept the yard
they never did a honest days work
it's all too frightfully hard
she packed them off to public school
so they could mix well
with other chinless wonders
considered toffs and swell
now they play candy crush
in committee on the phone
the useless dregs of humanity
should not be out alone
now they are all MPs and bankers
lawyers for the defence
they all have one similar flaw
they've got no commonsense

restaurant review

I went to a local restaurant
with comments box by the door
the box seem full to bursting
with more comments on the floor
It should have been a warning
no one writes if its fine
but I was cold and hungry
and in need of cheap wine

cheap wine it certainly was
but at what inflated price
if the meal had some heat
it may have been quite nice
the table clothe was not so clean
stains were fresh and wet
the stains look much tastier
than what I would get

so I wrote a restaurant review
and laid it on real thick
I even gave it five stars
that should do the trick
from my cosy window seat
in the cafe I adore
I can look out on that cold restaurant
and know what customers will endure


going on line

cut cut cutting
cutting something rash
but has all this cutting
actually save some cash?
what was a member of staff
that was treated with disgrace
is now interactive web page
without a human face
but the web page needs finance
to work within constraints
so they have just employed a human
to handle all complaints

I have a virus

I seem to have a virus
I don't know what it's called
my brain has foggy thoughts
and at stupidity I'm enthralled

my mobility is restricted
I wobble more than walk
I mumble incoherently
when I try to talk

I try to show how fit I am
do press ups on the floor
expecting a bit of praise
if not a full encore

I have strange desires
to get off my chest
like a trip to Barnard castle
cos my eyes need a test

it's like I have pneumonia
and poliomyelitis
but everyone just laughs and say
you've just got Borisitis

Tuesday, 7 July 2020

Blind man

tap tap taping
taping down the street
tapping at the kerb
tapping at the feet
tapping as people move
not standing in the way
tapping in shadows of black
and moving shades of grey

tapping hits a bottle
tapping hits a head
tapping hits a body
lying like it's dead
are you all right he softly says
to the drunken misery
of all the sighted people
only the blind can see

he feels the sob of misery
the shudder of despair
the nights of cold open slumber
no body seems to care
the tapping hits a metal orb
tapper senses the rebound
a medal in the pocket
the tapper knows the sound

was it the gulf war or Iraq
that earned that mournful sound
with comrades for protection
all in honour bound
"the Gulf" the drunk muttered
raising bottle to give a cheer
this is the land for hero's
the drunkard did sneer

the tapper said it was Iraq
that took away his sight
it took away my dignity
it took away my right
it took away the innocence
of why we had to fight
now my life is different
I can not read or write

they both shared the bottle
as true comrades do
they toasted their suffering
thank god I'm not like you

sinning



my neighbour is religious
and never does any wrong
yesterday I heard her sinning
whistling a dirty song 


trixie



she stretches she yawns
after her nap
purring sweet and gently
on my lap
a cat so docile
so serene
but death and carnage
where she's been

where are the sparrows
none can be found
they once ruled supreme
over hallowed ground
the mice are gone
as is vole and shrew
exterminated
in a playful hue

so playful with string
wool and ball
deadly talons of blood
withdrawal
fleck round your legs
when in need
the hunter demands
so you must feed

Sunday, 5 July 2020

songs of praise



Songs of praise is coming to a church
the congregation in decline
so they brought in frame fillers
from a church down the line
hoping singers are good at singing
and the majority good at mime

buying nostalgia

I wanted to buy nostalgia
it's cheaper bought on line
payment made by pay pal
or bit coins will be fine
need some cold war history
something that I lack
bought a chunk of the Berlin wall
with made in China on the back


not my fault

our society is breaking
this we all must halt
I don't know whom to blame
it's surely not my fault?

the corner shop is missing
a cause dear to my heart
I'll start a picket where I shop
at ASDA which is Walmart

nostalgia is so expensive
when your trying to be frugal
I buy what has been advertised
on Amazon E Bay and Google

I try not to be swayed
by the adverts on TV
but can sing the catchy tunes
for Shell ESSO and BP

I am individualistic
my style is so complexed
buying off the peg labelled goods
of Nike Gap and Next

with MacDonald's for breakfast
KFC for Sunday treat
so brutal with their employee's
but so caring for their meat

so where is my community
that nostalgic memory
behind the glitz and glamour
of the sweatshop economy

Friday, 3 July 2020

Saturday night

good old Boris said go out
hairdressers shops and the pub
sit at a table drink what you like
as long as your having some grub

so Cholnodeley Peregrine Hesketh
Marmaduke St John and Beau
met at a pub for booze and grub
with others some of us know

they sat us in secluded bubbles
about a metre apart
we asked for the menu and wine list
one needs an aperitif to start

we thought we'd have champers to start with
not having so much as of late
don't bother with finding a bottle
may as well just leave the crate

Two hours and just a minute
the staff a right huffy lot
said they believe tis time we should leave
as we exceeded the allotted time slot

what happened next I'm not sure of
cause or reason why
it all took off with biff baff and boff
and I got hit in the eye

the A & E staff were tremendous
though the consultant in bit of a tiz
with all the covid infection
we're rushed off our feet as it is

the markets are down as expected
the economy much in the red
I've a cough and a temperature
and Nanny has sent me to bed