the Ostrich and the Avian Union

The Ostrich had his head in the sand, and was happy.
The rook and the raven pecked at his foot.
“excuse me.” said the rook “but have you considered what you will happen after the 23rd June?”
“I will probably have my head in the sand minding my own business.” said the Ostrich
“But you are a bird.” said the rook “and as part of the Avian Union your life could change forever if the mammals forced a Brexit from the union. Then what?”
“I will probably have my head in the sand.”
“The Avian Union ensures all birds have free unmolested flight throughout the union.”
“But I don't fly!”
“True but he air quality at 200 feet has been improved so flight is now cleaner than it has ever been.”
“But I don't fly.”
“Did you know that all food in nest and landing sites is a good quality, nutritious, and safe to consume at 200 feet.”
“But I don't fly”
“Did you know that all birds can now roost in any tree within the union and raise chicks.” “but I don't fly and don't roost.”
“If you want to forage on the ground and bothered by termites, as a Union member you can apply for an Aardvark. As a low earner it could be grant aided.”
“Well I don't like termites and anything that reduces termites would be of interest to me.” 

The March Hare arrived and barged in.
“Hi I'm Boris, you probably heard of me, and how wonderful I have been for mammals.”
“No.” said the Ostrich
“You live on the ground, not like those other birds. Your loyalties are with mammals. We help ground dwellers, and if you leave the Avian union you will be better off.”
“Why?”
“You will not have to give any of your seeds to the other birds. You know how wasteful sparrows can be. Giving them seeds is a waste of time, and endangers enterprising mammals. Out of the Avian union you could keep your seed.”
“Will you stop mice stealing my seed?”
“No they are mammals, as are rats, squirrels, foxes, and badgers.”
“Will lions be able to harass me.”
“They are mammals too, but our mammals.” said Boris “However if injured by a lion you could get healed by our Mammal Health care.”
“Can I get that help now?”
“No, but with your seed we could supply it.”
“Why don't you supply a better health care now, you have the power?”
“We don't have your seed. With your seed we could do wondrous things which would benefit all mammals.”
“But I am not a mammal!”
“But you live on the ground, not like other birds. We will ensure no birds can land on your ground.”
“Some birds are beneficial, they eat ants, termites, scatter seed, pull weeds and ensure the ground is fertilised, ensuring a good crop of seeds.”
“ If we restricted the birds, we could encourage elephants to do all that for you.”
“will elephants want to do that?”
“We don't know, but we do know they will not be birds.”
“So you want Ostriches, but not other birds. Is it because have lofty ideas, work together in flocks and mutually supporting? Where as mammals are enterprising, dog eat dog, and go a head folk, that are self interested, and work only for their own interest, not the good of all.”
“Yes, but while you are with us, on the ground, you will be treated as an honorary mammal. Trust me you will be better off.”
The ostrich thought about what was said and put his head in the sand, hoping to keep it their until 24th June.