The agricultural college agreed
To allow the field trip to proceed
The farm to visit chosen at random
Farmer Brown was sent a memorandum
.
Students arrived full of good cheer
Some I admit still worse for beer
In their smart trainers and anorak
With designer labels on the back
.
Farmer Brown not use to talking
Mumbled and pointed while he was
walking
The students were such learned folk
At his lack of science they had to joke
.
They questioned him on expected yield
Fertility ratios of the field
Bacteria build up and worm rotation
And of Penicillin resistance formation
.
The students now given the head
Paid little attention to what Brown
said
The field trip becoming grim and dreary
Talking to the arrogant of theory
.
To engage in conversation denied
The helpful student questions tried
Said one student can you tell to me
Why that cow has no horn to see
.
Said Brown with a twinkling eye
‘orns is ‘ard subject, but I’ll
try
Some cows ‘as ‘orns that grow out
So they can waggle um about
.
Some ‘as ‘orns that go right you
know
Some go left and some won’t grow
Some has ‘orns of different size
Some up some down towards their eyes
.
Some ‘orns are thick some are thin
Explanations I’ll not know where to
begin
That ‘orn less cow I know of course
‘Cos that cow’s me bloody ‘orse
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