shortages

the government has announced comprehensive plans to deal with the latest shortage of daft ideas.




Since leaving the EU there has been an unforeseeable surge in daft ideas. Since the demise of Dom the blinded, daft ideas have not been generated in sufficient quantity to cope with the demands of Government. Do not Panic!

It is unhelpful collecting daft ideas from America. Without Donald J (jenius) Trump they are not so prolific. Do not even think about Europe, they have exported all theirs.




Gove the grovelling and Patel the merciless are on to it. We can look forward to a barrage of crap any day soon, Failing this emergency measure, Grayling has been brought to stand by , from obscurity on the backbenches.




In the meantime DO NOT PANIC. All ministers will be issued with extra union jacks to stand in front of at press briefings. The Prime Minister has ordered three tiers of Union jacks at all his briefings to pacify the Mail and Telegraph.




The military have been alerted, and will seize the last remaining Idi Amin's book of competent governance, so all is in hand.




You have had the Pasties tax, the caravan tax, the extra room tax, Eat out to help out, and a whole raft of Covid measures, made null and void by travel and no quarantine.




This Government prides itself on daft ideas, we can assure you there will be no discernible shortage.




DO NOT PANIC, DO NOT PANIC BUY



issued by the department of stupidity