To the dogs

“and now time for sport, but not horse racing, I think we are going to the dogs, is that right Garry.”




“That's right Justin, normally we go racing from a well known venue but today we are at the dogs. The Westminster dog track. The main event is not run by well tuned greyhounds, but a motley pack of whippets.




Race goers will know how Big Dog cheated his way to being top dog. Well that was the past Big dog is down. Not brought down by the punters but by his motley pack of followers from the same kennel.




This race over a number of weeks will eventually bring forth a winner but it is not by racing but by manoeuvre. The race is in two parts , first is positioning the final race between two dogs is a straight run off. By far the most interesting part is the first part or manoeuvre.




Each dog runs around to get sponsors. Normally this is only eight backers. These backers are the bargaining chips.

The first round of the race each runner slags off the others. This is called the posture, shows what you are made of. At this stage no one is out to win only collect backers. The more backers you collect the more you have to bargain with to get a top job in the cabinet.




At the end of the first round the lowest backed dog has to withdraw, and this is where it gets interesting. The looser gets to choose a candidate they think will win and pledge their backers in support. This will ensure no new blood has a chance of winning, only ex cabinet members in the know and corrupt. The remaining candidates must know what job the defeated will accept. Its all bluff and promise.




After a number of run offs the field is left with two racers. Backers of the wrong candidate knows they have lost the chance of a job if they choose badly. This is where it gets brutal, nasty and ugly. For the punter it is pure blood sport.




Once down to two candidates it is up to the swivel eyed loonies to vote. The rhetoric and promises are bizarre. Remember the voters are not the general public but loyal Tory voters. So tough on crime anti Europe, down with Russia and China, bring back hanging, fill all potholes in the roads. and dual the A1 in Northumberland.




At the end is a winner, not the best person for the job, but some one that can accept favours, corrupt , and will promise to lower taxes on the super rich.

They will do as the bankers demand, pander to the press barons, reward donors with titles and privileges. They will then tax and punish the poor and sick. We are all in this together whatever the emergency.

They will stay in office until the general election where they will bribe the voters, promise the world and get the sponsors and press to destroy the opposition with propaganda and spin.




So Justin an interesting few years at the dogs, over to you in the studio.”