turning up the heat

There is global warming

but we still turn up the heat

melting the ice caps

flooding soil beneath our feet

and in soil is where we grow things

all the things we like to eat

warring fractions find shortage of land

is why they must compete

you can't eat a facebook like

there's no delicious twitter tweet

on the way to Melrose

On the way to Melrose

passing through intensive care

all staff in cheap flimsy aprons

and plain surgical masks to wear

a virus spreading rapidly

for everyone to share




in Downing Street they don't give a shit

beyond the media glare

a Rose garden party

of the corrupting millionaire

there was champagne and nibbles

and some fancy party fare




Now the press are angry

backbenchers in despair

heading for local defeats

loosing councillors everywhere

official line posted on social media

to watch again, like, and share

love the boys

 

They love the boys in the orphanage

they love them far too well

they love them more if they acquiesce

not so much if they yell

there will be gifts in abundance

if they promise not to tell

dynamic duo

One of the riches men in Britain

is responsible for tax

when coming to tax the rich

the rules are incredibly lax

any form of criticism

are just envious attacks




next door is the journalist

that loves a liquid lunch

parties in the garden

with like thinking bunch

too pissed to read a memo

or numbers to crunch




so they go to the pub

like the common man

bang elbows with the piss heads

with a short attention span

leave public safety in their good hands

the pandemic strategic plan

told a white lie

So he told a white lie

does anyone really care

we still have the rule of law

and justice is still fair

if you have the assets

of a media billionaire




there is talk of treason

they even talk of plot

just jealousy of the rich

by couch potato have nots

all public institutions

carved up in bidding lots




a crack down on the BBC

the Guardian in the dock

a censor on unwelcome news

no secrets to unlock

propaganda dressed up as news

transmitted round the clock




there is a blame that's needed

for those devils overseas

that limit our export licences

and restrict our bankers greed

throw up the iron curtain

intensify the unease




Boris is a blundering fool

a bit of harmless fun

more calculating miscreants

have noted how its done

the police will have new masters

when there is no place to run

no Burns night

There is a Burns night for the Scots

for reciting poetry

but nothing in the land of poets

across the Irish sea




there is no celebration

there are no special dates

no reciting any works

of William Butler Yates




No Sheamus Heaney day

No Kavanagh or Thomas Moore

no toasting the humble spud

the staple of the poor




no wise cracks of Oscar Wilde

written on a card

nothing of Samuel Beckett

a playwright and Bard




no words of Evan Bolland

Montague or Russell

Cecil Day Lewis gets a miss

no lyricism muscle




there is no passing of the Bushmills

no gastronomic treat

gathered round a fire

of kindling and peat

working day and night in number 10

New draft legislation

more complicated than you think

almost half an hour of working

we need another drink




It's just the NHS

that seems to be at stake

all the words seem blurred

I'll try again when I'm awake




working day and night

blue sky thinking to explore

locked in our tiny office

with Vodka delivered to the door

Urine extraction

At the start of the pandemic when testing was expensive and infrequent, Northumbria water found a way to detect Covid 19 in sewage. This was promising, but needed work and investment. The water company could identify which sewage plant had the infection but could not pin it down to a district, street, house, or even a person.




A trial urine sampling system was urgently needed. A suggestion was made that a urine extraction system could be developed to test urine in key locations but it would need to be trialled, and also a blind trial to run concurrently, but how and on whom.




Fit young persons would be preferable so they looked at universities. It is true that students would do anything for a bob or two, but being kept on campus to pass urine for examination, for no reward would not go down well. Being stuck on campus had already proved to be unpopular.




It was at this stage that the Prime Minister intervened. He recommended the trial should be conducted on the Government, and Government staff. If no one was told it could be a blind, and an active test. The government also had a range of age groups so the results would reflect the general population better. Once they agreed that the Government should be the guinea pig, there was a need for utmost secrecy. All government employees had signed the official secrets act.




In the basement of Downing street a urine extraction system and testing laboratory was constructed. This was done under the pretext of a redecoration. All sewage ran through the testing site. The amount of sewage became a concern as it barely covered the minimum amount required. They needed to increase the flow, a greater need to extract the urine




It was suggested that coffee, and tea were a mild diuretic if given free, and at a good quality it would reduce staff using flasks of water. The urine increased but not sufficiently. Alcohol would be better but not too much and not all the time.




A number of work related social gatherings were organised. To ensure secrecy the events took place in the rose garden, a site renowned for the passing of bullshit. If wet the new conference centre could be used. This improved the urine extraction considerably.




Evaluation of the testing material was well underway when there was a leak (excuse the pun). The public became aware of the urine extraction events, held behind closed doors and there was outrage.




The prime Minister tried distraction, It didn't work.

He tried blaming the media. It didn't work

He tried being sorry, forget it and move on. It didn't work




He could not raise false expectations so set up an enquiry by Sue Gray to smooth things over. Sue would give the details of her findings to the PM. The PM would obviously tell her where to look, and where not to. Sue Gray being appointed to the task will not be able to return to her job after the report so must be elevated to the house of lords.




There is the nub. What can she be called. A straw poll of the Clapham omnibus indicated the public wanted her called Lady Gray of sleazy Mac Sleaze face. This clearly will not do. Other suggestions are Dame Sue Tundish Gray of Twyford, Dame Sue catheter Gray of Armitage Shanks, Lady Lapee Gray and Madame Duchamp ( a suggestion from the arts council). All of which make sleazy mac sleaze face attractive. The decision is of course left with Sue Gray, as in all matter she will have the last word.

what did you do

“And what did you do” asked the queen

to the petite bourgeoisie

“I do favours for the rich

and honours they owe me”

“and do you pay your taxes

to the government of her majesty”

“My money funds much better things

like your platinum jubilee”

“so how much did they charge you

for your well earned marquis ?”

Corona virus what do we know?

A species jumper, from bats to pangolin, to pigs to humans. Also highly infectious to cats.

First discovered in China, a virus of concern because like other viruses it mutates on each new transmission, and has the ability to defeat the human defence mechanism.

It affects the respiratory tract, also the digestive tract making the symptoms variable

Tests are available to detect for infection

Some vaccines have been developed with a variety of efficacies

The dominant strain in the UK is the Omicron variant, a highly infectious strain that is possibly less fatal than previous strains.

The advice from the World health Organisation is test test test. Try to isolate, to avoid transmission.

Vaccinate to assist in preventing transmission. It is not over until it is controlled everywhere. The more people infected the more mutations. No one country is safe until all countries are safe. This is a pandemic, it is not over yet

In the UK we have a government that the population no longer believe.

They blame the scientific advisors, and do not heed the advice in time.

Hospitality, that is not tax payer funded, is more important than the health service, that is.

The elite and young believe they are immune.

3 vaccinations are believed to be effective. The vaccines have an efficacy of between 30% to 90% depending on who told you. In general 60 to 70 % is believed to be effective against most viruses.

This means between 25 to 30 million people are recipients for a mutating virus in the UK.

We are not testing tourist before they leave the departure point. Tourists are not quarantined , but told they must Isolate until they have tested negative for 7 days. In which time they travelled from Air port or ferry port, freely mixing with the population until they reach their destination. They are not tested for a new variant.

In the meantime we have religious fundamentalist that are anti vaccination. They are bold and aggressive , maliciously targeting health campaigners and celebrities.

Government backbenchers are anti mask wearing.

Government backbenchers are anti vaccination.

Government backbenchers are pro business.

Government backbenchers are against public services and want free enterprise in all things. They want more denationalisation, including the NHS

We have Boris Johnson as Prime Minister and a cabinet of Brexiteers

What do you think 2022 will bring?

no longer no comment

no comment is the staunch reply

by a criminal at interview

when presented with the evidence

good police work pursued

but jack the lad was cocky

had seen a blundering fool

say no rules were broken

lying like it was true

followed all the guideline

at all times no broken rules

jack said he was innocent

like that wag at public school

disquiet backbenchers

 

There is disquiet on the back benches

as the cracks begin to show

with the progressive inertia

discontent will grow

the knives are being sharpened

Boris will have to go




the cabinet of incompetents

are trying to find some space

get one over the others

in a leadership race

proving they are not from the swamp

not tinted by disgrace




Truss the likely successor

has a meal for free

with bubbly the finest wine

from a Tory devotee

leaving the taxpayer

paying for the spree




Shap the rank incompetent

thinks he sees a chance

although travel restrictions imposed

led travels a merry dance

when his actions are ever questioned

he can always blame France




Anne Marie (three homes) Trevelyan

a novice at the game

loyalty to hapless Boris

a constant source of shame

thinks she'll strike out at Gove

the easiest to blame




the Gove becoming reticent

keeping out of sight

once the darling of the left

now darling of the right

dirty is always honourable

when it comes to a fight




Sunak of the purse strings

an incompetent buffoon

taxing the poor to death

the rich may get taxed soon

will promise money in the morn

and snatch back by afternoon




the backbenches ponder

on who may compete

who can snatch victory

from inglorious defeat

and who can they blame

for the loosing of their seat

happy New year

 

The rich toast in the New year

in unbuttoned designer suits

slopping the cheap champagne

in goblets and the flute

praising the growth of profit

the noblest of pursuit




the poor to bed go early

power saving need

a choice between a greedy meter

or a family to feed

around them conspicuous consumption

extolling the good in greed




health care staff are broken

extra workload to endure

salvation army roam the streets

but hand outs not a cure

believing in Gods ministry

so simple and so pure




the poor are more impoverished

the sick have no bed

masks are an abomination

thick politicians said

abomination is the greed of few

that wish so many dead




Happy new year you gentle folk

let nothing you dismay

there will be a heaven

administering preachers pray

and you will be done to in heaven

as you are done to today