Thursday, 28 November 2019
Wednesday, 27 November 2019
Sunday, 24 November 2019
Tory hunting the snark
The
Boris was up front and blunt
you
cowards he uttered with glee
I
vanquished the usurper Hunt
so
snark hunting you should follow me
the
Gove was backward in glancing
the
past was much better by far
said
we should be cautious advancing
eating
his Russian caviar
Sajid
Javid once a banker
would
finance the trip without debt
just
like the two faced wanker
he's
paid not a penny as yet
Dominic
Raab in law was know to embark
world
trade laws with the EU drafted
ideal
crew for hunting the snark
with
warped tangled web he had crafted
snarks
are not in the Euro zone
so
other countries they must try
travelling
to other lands unknown
that
good trade would imply
new
countries they could trade with well
their
most earnest of desire
great
deals in trade they would compel
like
the British empire did inspire
the
trip was long and troubled
with
mutinies and scheming
the
spending sadly doubled
appearing
more redeeming
to
Trump they sought salvation
and
trade a promising allusion
the
terms had no deal trading nations
adding
to bankers confusion
the
snark had beat them to the states
and
roamed freely at large
they
lost principals and mates
for
the snark was the Farage
Monday, 18 November 2019
black friday
Black Friday to cyber Monday
Spend daft Saturday buy crap Sunday
spend spend spend because you believe
there'll be nothing left by Christmas Eve?
Spend daft Saturday buy crap Sunday
spend spend spend because you believe
there'll be nothing left by Christmas Eve?
socks
looking behind the radiator
I got a pleasant shock
after fifteen bloody months
I found the other sock
at times I was despondent
almost in despair
one of twenty single socks
has just become a pair
Friday, 15 November 2019
friend request
on
a social website
quite unexpectedly
quite unexpectedly
I
came across a profile
that could be seen publicly
that could be seen publicly
I knew the name I knew the face
it stirred a memory
so I sent a friend request
far from confidently
surprisingly I had a reply
and she remembered me
she would accept my friend request
quite happily
and hoped I wasn't the annoying shit
that I use to be
hell
they
said that I would rot in hell
for my atheist belief
I'd suffer for eternity
with no respite of relief
for my atheist belief
I'd suffer for eternity
with no respite of relief
so I googled trip adviser
not use to doing prayer
now I feel more confident
knowing no one has been there
pound shop
Off
for Christmas shopping
the high street is where I'm bound
to find the shop of luxuries
that has everything for a pound
the high street is where I'm bound
to find the shop of luxuries
that has everything for a pound
a hive of Christmas shoppers
queues are so intense
because they can't find a shop
that has all for fifty pence
great again?
Yes
that land was great
nothing did it lack
they aimed high at the moon
and safely returned back
they had the best education
imagination soared
they fought for highest principals
at home and abroad
in war they were relentless
through heartbreak and toil
the aim had the highest value
of principals not oil
now big business runs the country
bigotry has free reign
the planet is another commodity
to barter and to gain
nothing did it lack
they aimed high at the moon
and safely returned back
they had the best education
imagination soared
they fought for highest principals
at home and abroad
in war they were relentless
through heartbreak and toil
the aim had the highest value
of principals not oil
now big business runs the country
bigotry has free reign
the planet is another commodity
to barter and to gain
they
hate foreign neighbours
although of foreign descent
how can you recover your greatness
when all self respect is spent
although of foreign descent
how can you recover your greatness
when all self respect is spent
sales
crap
in each shop window
crap ceiling to the floor
crap reduced to pre slump price
that's what sales are for
you didn't buy when in date
you didn't like the shade
so in the sales you bought two
for the savings that you made
crap ceiling to the floor
crap reduced to pre slump price
that's what sales are for
you didn't buy when in date
you didn't like the shade
so in the sales you bought two
for the savings that you made
hate
The
Catholics hate the protestants
the protestants hate the Jews
the Methodists hate the baptists
and both hate the booze
the Muslims hate the Buddhists
wish their chanting would cease
all religions hate a holy war
but use it promoting peace
the protestants hate the Jews
the Methodists hate the baptists
and both hate the booze
the Muslims hate the Buddhists
wish their chanting would cease
all religions hate a holy war
but use it promoting peace
Monday, 11 November 2019
shame
hang
my head in shame
for my onerous mistake
I sat down for a meal
and no picture did I take
it was just food on a plate
it didn't have the look
how the world now suffers
when it's not posted on facebook
for my onerous mistake
I sat down for a meal
and no picture did I take
it was just food on a plate
it didn't have the look
how the world now suffers
when it's not posted on facebook
security?
could
you give your full name
the operator said with glee
then she asked my date of birth
a date known only to me
do you know my date of birth
I asked quite casually
she said I do it's on the screen
right in front of me
so how does my date of birth
improve security?
the operator said with glee
then she asked my date of birth
a date known only to me
do you know my date of birth
I asked quite casually
she said I do it's on the screen
right in front of me
so how does my date of birth
improve security?
torture
I
had a nightmare last night
it wears heavy on my chest
but freedom would be granted
if willingly confessed
it wears heavy on my chest
but freedom would be granted
if willingly confessed
and betrayed others
so wickedly oppressed
let the torturer have his fun
I honorably professed
in a room cram full of TV's
and each TV on they pressed
every screen displayed the same
Eurovision song contest
I tried to hold out as long as I could
but it took seconds to confess
white lie
a
small white lie cast out
falls like a flake of snow
and finds a receptive wasteland
on fertile fields below
a white lie needs to settle
to turn the whole world white
truth gives way to pressure
willing not to fight
as the whole world turns white
no shape can be defined
all below the the white canopy
is maliciously maligned
as the climate starts to change
as so many times before
the world is black with clinging mud
with the coming of the thaw
falls like a flake of snow
and finds a receptive wasteland
on fertile fields below
a white lie needs to settle
to turn the whole world white
truth gives way to pressure
willing not to fight
as the whole world turns white
no shape can be defined
all below the the white canopy
is maliciously maligned
as the climate starts to change
as so many times before
the world is black with clinging mud
with the coming of the thaw
battle bus
waiting
at the bus stop
for transport to come by
I took a bus six years ago
so I thought It's worth a try
for transport to come by
I took a bus six years ago
so I thought It's worth a try
along
came a battle bus
because there's an election due
It wouldn't take me to the town
because there's an election due
It wouldn't take me to the town
although
I asked it to
it saw that I'd been waiting
for
a considerable time
it
couldn't transport me
but would be tough on crime
but would be tough on crime
they want full employment
a job I would be due
they promised me four jobs
because you can't survive on two
they said they aim to cut waste
and prolong austerity
and cut back on the payments
to
rich pensioners like me
deep sleep
oh
sleep, oh sleep I yearn for you
I need to rest my head
I need to slumber deeply
in the rhythm of the dead
it's what the hypnotist told me
and I believe what is said
as I drifted deeper
I lost that panic attack
until I heard the devil say
there is no turning back
for we have all missed you
and we miss the craic
it's not the time for me to die
speeding upward I fled
a midst a group of mourners
thinking I was dead
so bitterly disappointed
now the will had been read
I need to rest my head
I need to slumber deeply
in the rhythm of the dead
it's what the hypnotist told me
and I believe what is said
as I drifted deeper
I lost that panic attack
until I heard the devil say
there is no turning back
for we have all missed you
and we miss the craic
it's not the time for me to die
speeding upward I fled
a midst a group of mourners
thinking I was dead
so bitterly disappointed
now the will had been read
ladies day
Went
to Kelso races
as it was ladies day
I didn't see many ladies
at the oddest fashion display
they tottered on giant heels
with no scaffolding in support
no safety net or harness
without a health and safety thought
Presecco in a flute glass
trying to impress
can a minuscule amount of fabric
still be called a dress?
bets put on at random
not looking at the score
I hope they win enough today
to put a mirror by their door
as it was ladies day
I didn't see many ladies
at the oddest fashion display
they tottered on giant heels
with no scaffolding in support
no safety net or harness
without a health and safety thought
Presecco in a flute glass
trying to impress
can a minuscule amount of fabric
still be called a dress?
bets put on at random
not looking at the score
I hope they win enough today
to put a mirror by their door
Sunday, 10 November 2019
Brexit
they
voted Brexit not remain
retake control with little pain
but will be as they want it to be
with crumpets and afternoon tea
raising hat so courteously
nostalgia? or history
no croissant, but demanding toast
no cheek kissing for the host
a firm hand shake a look severe
pork scratching and warm flat beer
black pudding and a bowl of tripe
real coins to pay not a card to swipe
regain, regain, we'll take it all back
our football violence and the union Jack
we'll have barley water instead of wine
now our great nation is in decline
retake control with little pain
but will be as they want it to be
with crumpets and afternoon tea
raising hat so courteously
nostalgia? or history
no croissant, but demanding toast
no cheek kissing for the host
a firm hand shake a look severe
pork scratching and warm flat beer
black pudding and a bowl of tripe
real coins to pay not a card to swipe
regain, regain, we'll take it all back
our football violence and the union Jack
we'll have barley water instead of wine
now our great nation is in decline
wait,
I hear you say so bold
the world out there is far from cold
there will be markets, they will be found
for that cheep China tack we're a dumping ground
we will expand our culture just wait and see
with McDonald's and KFC
and those American crime stories on TV
to match the blandness of reality
we are a nation proud and bold
and we'll go to war when we're told
our independence we are fond
and will obey our orders from beyond the pond
work will depend of the colour of your collar
and the exchange rate between the pound and Dollar
the world out there is far from cold
there will be markets, they will be found
for that cheep China tack we're a dumping ground
we will expand our culture just wait and see
with McDonald's and KFC
and those American crime stories on TV
to match the blandness of reality
we are a nation proud and bold
and we'll go to war when we're told
our independence we are fond
and will obey our orders from beyond the pond
work will depend of the colour of your collar
and the exchange rate between the pound and Dollar
Saturday, 9 November 2019
Harrods
I
asked why he chose Harrods
what was the Harrods thrill
when there was a baptist church
halfway up the hill
the church is cold as charity
they do not have the trade
the opening of the doors
that footfall Harrods made
every opening of the door
what was the Harrods thrill
when there was a baptist church
halfway up the hill
the church is cold as charity
they do not have the trade
the opening of the doors
that footfall Harrods made
every opening of the door
a
warming blast of heat
and the pavement outside
helps to warm my feet
when it's late at night
and Harrods closes the door
the huddling of homeless
will heat a little more
and the pavement outside
helps to warm my feet
when it's late at night
and Harrods closes the door
the huddling of homeless
will heat a little more
So god bless shops like Harrods
the government doesn't care
how many homeless use the store
or nightly sleeping there
bless you all at Christmas
use your high street more
internet shopping gives little heat
unlike a department store
Monday, 4 November 2019
the honest candidate
a young man with a pink rosette
came up to my door
it was an election colour
I'd never seen before
he said he was the honest party
that wouldn't tell a lie
ask me a question on anything
in honesty I will reply
what about the NHS
will it get the funds required
and will I see improvement
before my life expires
if you want better care
that we think you are due
well all that extra money
is going to come from you
you must pay more for defence
if you want it to remain
and if you want fair and just laws
the funding is the same
we could just tax more rich
but they pay sweet F.all
the highly paid accountants
got their training in Whitehall
the poor can not escape
can not move cash off shore
must work hard in this country
so its your money we look for
what about the American companies
can we claw some money back
you can, but then if you do
you'll get cyber attacks
he said we should be more self reliant
buy British when we can
try to grow more food at home
and support our fisherman
he said that he was honest
more than I expected
he shrugged and said not a chance
when I asked if he'd get elected
came up to my door
it was an election colour
I'd never seen before
he said he was the honest party
that wouldn't tell a lie
ask me a question on anything
in honesty I will reply
what about the NHS
will it get the funds required
and will I see improvement
before my life expires
if you want better care
that we think you are due
well all that extra money
is going to come from you
you must pay more for defence
if you want it to remain
and if you want fair and just laws
the funding is the same
we could just tax more rich
but they pay sweet F.all
the highly paid accountants
got their training in Whitehall
the poor can not escape
can not move cash off shore
must work hard in this country
so its your money we look for
what about the American companies
can we claw some money back
you can, but then if you do
you'll get cyber attacks
he said we should be more self reliant
buy British when we can
try to grow more food at home
and support our fisherman
he said that he was honest
more than I expected
he shrugged and said not a chance
when I asked if he'd get elected
the silence
The
silence just after when all is still and calm
Sooty
bits of flotsam floating down midst the alarm
Groans
begin to utter as the adrenaline rush subsides
Clothes
ripped from the bodies lay waste sexual pride
Blood
on every surface body parts abound
Deafened
survivors press their ears to hear some sound
Few
people have the where with all to take command
Evacuating
people who can walk and stand
Cacophony
of screams and far off sirens wail
Reporters
talking picture that the editors will fail
Tears
on seeking loved ones searching aimlessly
The
day a religious bigot went on a suicide spree
too good to be true
Slumped over in the
public bar
Fondling a cold beer
Depressive mood for
broken date
When he saw her sit
near
Her hair was as black
as charcoal
Her lips were rosy red
Her captivating eyes
shone out
With summoning to bed
She started the
conversation
His shyness held his
tongue
Strange to see
attraction drinking
Especially when young
The blush rose up
filled his cheeks
He stammered nervously
I’ve just had a
disappointment
Please share a drink
with me?
They moved to a corner
table
Where the lights dimly
glow
And talked about the
interests
The other one should
know
Relaxed feeling
comfortable
The drink flowed far
too much
Inflamed with a burning
passion
To caress her and touch
She asked if he could
walk her home
The dark a friend to
some
He readily agreed to it
She beckoned him to
come
Glancing at the doorway
mirror
For a quick inspection
But when she walked
close behind him
There was no reflection
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