hello hello granny

hello,hello granny
why are you out doors
you have broken guidance
now you've broken laws

although you said you are alone
my dear I can count
we spotted eight people in the park
a prohibited amount

I saw the news this morning
and I know my rights dear chap
that was this morning
now updated on my app

you must get the latest app
sadly it's not free
and your details will be sold
to aid the treasury

I have a notification
the latest government decree
they changed their minds under pressure
so I will allow you to go free

catchy students

there is a catchy bar
that plays a catchy tune
with a catchy knife and folk
and a catchy spoon

the waiter brings a catchy glass
on a catchy tray
you must leave by ten PM
but can drink all day

the catchy halls of residence
catchy students from wide and far
using catchy public transport
or catchy parents car

in the catchy lecture halls
a one way system spot
there is a catchy library
for the catchy swot

the catchy students are castigated
and brought down with shame
by a catchy government
that wants some one else to blame

an interview

An old grey man is talking

to a reporting celebrity

warning about extinction

on the morning news TV




wearing a woolen jersey

and a old cotton shirt

saying our verdant forests

will soon be dust and dirt




talking quiet sincerely

in a slow and measure way

don't waste the beautiful planet

is what he's trying to say




the reporter in her studio

the backdrop quiet idyllic

in her man made clothes

of rayon and acrylic




make up applied skillfully

with a hint of seduction

extracted from fossil fuel

by product of oil production






she cares about the environment

and agrees it must be saved

but wastes and panders to the rich

it is what consumers craved




he thinks the planet can be saved

the young are the key

fired with hopeful enthusiasm

the reporter can not see

crosses

there are crosses in Stanley
where a British soldier died
in Rangoon , Singapore
and Malaysia far and wide
there are crosses in the desert
and ice at 20 degrees below
in jungles and savanna
where grazing wild life go
but not in America
where they think of us a foe

TV chat

it does need to be all gloom
for health and the economy
said the preachers of impending doom
at a desk on TV

It's all your fault you foolish yobs
that brought the country low
soon you could have proper jobs
after months of furlough

so the heart jumps a beat
uplifted by the thought
politicians think they'll keep their seat
now the bullshit has been bought

but then you watch in disbelief
the gestures done with glee
a clown with an important brief
comic with out the comedy

inspection

the smoke lingers in the air

the lid I take off slow

sweet hum of gentle buzzing there

on the frames below

the sweet aroma of bees wax

of propolis pungency

soft talking makes the bees relax

as they buzz distrustfully

there walking across the frame

with attendants at her heel

the queen of all bees so tame

trying to conceal

on frames of new eggs uncapped

with pollen in great store

seal and capped the larvae trapped

a bee to transform once more

I have seen enough the stores are good

more smoke to quell their ire

replace the lid of cedar wood

and gracefully retire

the vicar to the curate

Said the vicar to the curate

who was running late

do you have a sermon

to fill the collection plate




we must get them squirming

get them while they are down

we need to ridicule someone

to wear the repentance crown




what is all the gossip

in who's' bed have they been

what secrets are they keeping

what thoughts so obscene




who broke the restrictions

who gathered more than six

who reported restriction breakers

to hide their dirty tricks




None had come to mind

all proper and devout

nothing more than a parking ticket

to get worked up about




let us hope they will enjoy the show

may the sermon give a tingle

then we can report them all

for the vicious act of mingle

Tombstone Northumberland

In Tombstone Northumberland

where drinkers go to eat

a lonely covid marshal

patrols the crowded street




You seven will get busted

you're against the law

and you don't come from round here

not seen you before




the pubs will start kicking out

as curfew starts to bite

stop serving beer at eight o'clock

to say they're covid right




they've arrest all the young folk

once were high on drugs

now they're coming for granny

that gives children hugs




there are no traffic wardens

no parked cars on the street

and  sniggering groups of five

will be excluded from his beat

oven ready

Brexit oven ready

is all set to fail

the chilly wind from the continent

now blizzards and gale

the government has ensured

a swift process derail




trade from the world

get food where we can

chicken legs from China

wings from Japan

chlorine in chicken

from the States and Bhutan




toxic colour in corn

pesticides in wheat

growth hormones are laced

in all kinds of meat

farms going under

can no longer compete




food riots in Soho

and Park avenue

tear gas in the air

police casualties few

the PM calls for calm

from a bunker new Crewe

rules and law

The modern democracy

that you voted for

has rules for the rich

and laws for the poor

a few broken rules

the judiciary ignore

but will crack down without mercy

any infringement of law

back to the office

after cutting civil servants pay
and the increments deprive
sent home to work on line
so they won't bus or drive
now they need to get back to work
for the economy to revive


but the lowly clerical assistant
with no pennies pound or buck
can not afford to go to Costa
Nero or Starbucks
walks to work with a thermos flask
so the economy's out of luck

send down a Trump

Oh lord above send down a Trump

for those that believe

to rant about a corrupting swamp

where tax returns deceive




may all the Russian oligarchs

with poisoners at large

have a hot line to the president

to tell him who's in charge




may all gun toting white trash

with fake news and conspiracy fears

point assault rifles at the press

while shouting four more years

true religions

The world of true religions

their schisms and their sects

the fashions and the clothing

for honour and respect

and the mutual intolerance

for religions not correct

perfect hindsight

Said Boris with perfect hindsight

they didn't get everything right

talking to the media

trying to look contrite




in the early stages with testing

the government did its sums

saw there was little profit

for associates and chums




they concentrated on PPE

to get what they could get

after paying they waited

and are still waiting yet




the worlds health said do testing

and have some capacity

they cobbled a world class system

to save the economy




so forget it and move on

the policy will never fail

corruption killed patients

time to reflect in jail

catchy

The catchy tune plays on the loop

the DJ's paid to circulate

the workers in the sweat shop

say it helps to concentrate

nod their heads to the rhythm

sewing endless seams straight




the owner has caught a fever

but the orders are running late

coughing as he walks the aisles

of sewing emigrates

filling the air with viruses

to infect and incubate

lovers of Boris

Those lovers of Boris

with the wide glassy stare

still have loads of money

demand the best of care

still can not blame Boris

gasping for some air

cloud cuckoo land

In cloud cuckoo land
they keep no sheep
no pigs no cows
but want food cheap
they do not plough
or tend the fields
just stocks and shares
produce a yield
all food comes cheap
form over seas
so they don't need honey
or bumble bees
but over seas is famine and war
starving children
homeless poor
but cheap food
they still demand
those bankers of
cloud cuckoo land

Scottish referendum

Scottish referendum
now the aftermath and cost
the head of one leader
that fought so hard and lost

with a taste of freedom
so tantalisingly near
time to plan for the next time
and dispel the doubt and fear

all those greedy bankers
bank reforms in much doubt
need a stronger country
to help to bail them out

if their banking had some ethics
and speculation was curtailed
they could thrive in Scotland
let England have banks that failed

join in the discussion
With the EU relations
get inclusive recognition
as a state within a nation

as for the currency
the pound is no use
have a coin called Wallace
hundred Wallace make a Bruce

realign the border
for necessity not greed
bring back old Berwickshire
on both sides of the Tweed

Nae eggs

I have nae eggs from my named hens
I have nae breakfast treat
for the dreighness of the weather
and the coldness of their feet
if there's nae eggs the morrow
they'll be renamed as meat

long grass

should I cut the grass today
or let grow as meant
don't you just love long grass
if your in government

if you have some ethics
and there's problems for the nation
just kick in to the long grass
to mature in obfuscation

inquiry's and commissions
governments adore
old problems and solution
you can just ignore

god on the phone

I can't talk to you right now
I've god on the phone
for all those pesky prayers at night
he won't leave me alone
he keeps telling me to behave
be contrite less funny
and all I ever asked of him
was health and loads of money
he told me that I should believe
a spiritual life perform
yet if he really knows me well
he knows I can't conform

lord of poetry

Orange does not rhyme or scan
thus considered blasphemy
against the true and noble god
the lord of poetry
users of that hateful word
are committing heresy
no punishment is bad enough
for the lapse of dignity
we are not religious nuts
that love poetry
Charlie Hebdo has drawn a cartoon
of Wordsworth on page three